Spammy Jammy Closes Out Season

As if Goodland needed an excuse for a party.

Spam was sculpted, jammies were worn, alcohol was consumed, and the gods were appeased for one more hurricane season. For what might be the 34th time – memories are too fuzzy to pinpoint exactly which Spammy Jammy just happened – last weekend the Little Bar in Goodland hosted Spammy Jammy, the iconic end-of-season blowout. Deep into June, tourist season is officially over and done, and the long, hot summer has set in.

There were some differences this year. While new owner (last year) Sami Rahman was helming his second Spammy Jammy – should we call it “Sami Jammy” now? – he has attempted to maintain the vibe created by the former owners, brother and sister Ray Bozicnik and Niki Bauer. But in one new wrinkle, the event encompassed the entire weekend, with an opening night on Friday, and the traditional “Spamover” on Sunday, along with the classic blowout on Saturday night.

Ray’s zany, off-kilter sensibility remains evident in the posters from previous Jammies that festoon the walls, and the entry form for the Spam contest, with questions like “which judge will you be bribing?” and “person to contact in case of indigestion,” but his absence from the festivities left a void.

The Saturday night event is still the heart of Spammy Jammy when the Spam sculpture and Spam cuisine contests were entered and judged, the toilet paper races unrolled, and the biggest crowds showed up. This year, the event shed the sexism of previous years, and men were allowed to compete in seeing who could spin off an entire roll of toilet paper the fastest.

Saturday featured three musical acts, starting with longtime Goodland guitarist Merrill at noon, before he took up duties as one of the judges in the Spam contests, followed by the Island Knights at 4:00 PM, and culminating in Biscuit Miller and the Mix featuring Rachelle Coba. The Biscuit Miller set was paused several times as free raffle items were handed out to lucky patrons.

A customer named Tammie got Off – a collection of mosquito repellent coils very useful in Goodland in the summertime. The skeeters were noticeable outside the Little Bar, and they probably were enjoying the elevated blood alcohol content they were draining from the human attendees. Penny Snoots became a Spice Girl, winning two bottles of Loud Mouth seasoning. There were additional raffle prizes, loosely themed around the idea of things that might come in handy in case of a hurricane, including portable fans, a slushie maker, and an Aion mosquito barrier. There was even a four-burner Blackstone flattop grill, handy for cooking before or after a storm, as the grand prize.

And remember, the Spam portion of Spammy Jammy has to do with laying in hurricane supplies. The highly preservable, long shelf-life pork shoulder product works well for anyone who eats red meat, and longtime campers can tell you it is delicious fried up with eggs for breakfast or as a satisfying, if not elegant, entrée. Ed and Cindy Crane, who snagged a table in the barroom right by the band, extolled the virtues of Spam, although they were focusing on the Yuengling-based carbohydrate portion of the food pyramid for the evening.

“It’s a sacred duty to come here” and help ward off storms, said Cindy, noting that the evening was fun, just “not quite as crowded as it has been” in the past.

Spam food items featured at this Spammy Jammy included Spam sliders, certified excellent by Sami Rahman, Spam dogs, Spam jelly – pardon me, ‘Spam jam’ – and Spam cooked up in pancake batter. In the food category, first place went to Spam roses, by Beth Gatt, with Spam stew by JW Roth winning second, and Spam-stuffed piggies by Barb and Glenn Jensen snagging third place.

In the Spam sculpture category, first place went to the ‘Spam Ape!’ created by Pete L’Allier, with longtime contestant and winner Wade Mundinger, who attended in garish pajamas, taking second place for his ‘Spamolyth. Third prize went to the “Quiet, Miss Piggy” rendition of Donald Trump with a porcine snout entered by Dayna and Mary.

One poignant moment during the evening was when everyone in the barroom hoisted their glasses and bottles in a toast as a tribute to “Florida Fiddler” JRobert, the beloved Marco musician who passed away recently, and was memorialized in a life-size cutout behind the band.

Sunday, the Little Bar hosted “Spamover,” with discount prices to clear out the coolers and the kegs, and with that, the Little Bar and Goodland rested for the summer. But Rahman says he has a surprise in store when they reopen in October, with a “big music lineup” timed for the opening of stone crab season. Stay tuned.