To Each Their Own

The meaning in a nutshell…”everyone is entitled to their own opinions, preferences and choices, acknowledging that people have different tastes and that what one person likes, another may not.” In other words, it is a way of showing respect for an individual’s differences and expressing tolerance without judging someone's choices.

Boy, is this an adage that went out the window lately, but it still does hold true in this business! When I first opened my first humble retail jewelry business in the 1980s, I was the sole owner, and everything I displayed in my cases I had designed and created myself, and I mean everything. I even hand-made earring posts and backs back then. My branding and goals then were to become a laid-back “designer goldsmith.” My dream shop location was far from the big city in a Yankee seaside town known for tourists and locals alike. I did learn quickly that not everyone liked all of my designs (kind of like what I am now doing here, still a damn Yankee only surrounded by palm trees!). It didn’t hurt my feelings; folks either bought what I created, or we sat down and designed what they had in mind and could not find anywhere. Business started out slowly but that was good in a way - I had time to create at my own pace. The most important thing is that I left the daily stress caused by working twelve-hour days six days a week in the pressure cooker of a downtown Boston jeweler’s building. I designed some of my most innovative and unique pieces back when I was in Marblehead, Massachusetts, 01945.

Back to the future, the year 2025. It’s forty-five years later, and I’m longer in the tooth, have a larger shop with many employees, and many more pieces of jewelry that people can choose from. Now I have my daughter and the inmates running the asylum. I no longer make every single piece of sparkling jewelry in the showcases. We have been selecting unusual pieces from across the nation and in fact, around the world, for our Marco shop for over thirty years now, and what a trip it has been! 

Another way one can respect “to each one’s own” in more modern terms would be “different strokes for different folks!” My daughter learned at an early age that you can’t just buy jewelry that you like and put it in the showcases, expecting everyone to ooh and ahh and purchase your choices.

Jewelry is a very personal thing. I once designed a piece for someone, and that person was involved in every step of the process. She loved how it was coming together, and when completed, she cried putting on the custom-designed necklace and left the shop a very happy camper.

Three weeks later, her husband walked in the shop, presented me her custom piece and a two-page letter saying she wanted to return it, and that she no longer “liked it”! I was flabbergasted; three weeks ago, she was crying tears of joy. What changed her mind? The letter mentioned a woman who saw it at a party she went to said it was “unattractive”! So basically, she wants to return it because one rude and probably jealous person made a negative comment about it? 

I tried to be sympathetic, but every jeweler I know will always make it very clear there are no refunds or exchanges on custom to your specifications and needs jewelry. It was made for you and you alone; especially here and now, a jeweler can’t just absorb the loss and make another one, hoping the customer likes the next one. No, no, nay, nay!

The jewelry critic or “hater” was very much out of line. For instance, have you ever seen a new baby, and honestly, there is no way around it, the kid has a face only a mother could love. You will still say he or she “Is soooo cute!”  You certainly wouldn’t tell the new mom, “Geeze, that kid sure is homely!”  

People build homes, buy cars, and wear clothes I would never live in, drive, or wear. Some of my friends go on safari vacations to places I barely heard of and have diseases that have no names or cures…no thanks, not for me. My wife’s idea of a camping safari is a three-star hotel. Different strokes!

In my travels to “fashion-conscious countries,” I’m always looking for cool unusual jewelry. I have never taken a shine to jewelry manufactured in countries such as India, China, and Arabia.

Besides being expensive by being a higher karat gold - 22-24 kt. - it’s very orange in color. Many of the designs and styles tend to be a bit elaborate and flamboyant. These designs have never been accepted by the American jewelry buyers; it would be like getting the U.S to fully accept the metric system and Monday Night Soccer instead of football. Not happening.

I remember many moons ago when traveling in Italy, I came upon large, flashy women’s watches. They quickly became the rave and spread like wildfire to other European cities. I brought back several to display and sell in my Marco shop. All I got were negative comments about them: “What woman would ever wear a watch that big?” “You sure these are not men’s watches?” “Those are hideous, what are you thinking?!”

Typical South Florida…twenty-five years ago, Marco and Naples would be the last place in the world to display new jewelry fashions and must-haves! What was already hip in New York and L.A. would be a year or more before it would be recognized and accepted here, only to be out of style by the time it arrived. To each their own!

Five years after I brought “the big hideous watches” to Marco, it took me that long to sell even one! Meanwhile, the big watch look was already huge in New York on most American women’s minds and wrists. (Michele, Tommy Bahama, Michael Kors, to name a few).

Same thing is now occurring with natural diamonds vs. lab diamonds. To each their own matters here. Some would never be caught dead purchasing a lab diamond, let alone wearing one. Then again, I heard the same thing about cubic zirconia fifty years ago, and that turned out to be another billion-dollar jewelry phenomenon.

I have customers who can’t stop buying labs, especially after they bought the first one and got tons of compliments. Labs are a great choice for folks who thought they could only dream about that special diamond ring or pair of earring studs. Most of my lab customers already have beautiful diamond jewelry, and you can honestly wear and blend lab diamonds with your natural diamond jewelry for a fraction of the cost of natural. I’ve heard all the negative reasons for not buying lab diamonds, once being told by a woman, “I would never wear anything that wasn’t natural!” Meanwhile, standing before me is a woman displaying a pair of obvious augmentations…new teeth! I meant teeth! What in the world were you thinking??

The ultimate don’t ask, don’t tell situation; who would be that rude to ask if that stunning diamond pendant you are wearing is a natural diamond or not? Unless it’s the jealous jewelry hating snob I mentioned before, I wish I knew who she was so I could check out the dime store jewelry she most likely prefers and say to her face, looking at your personal taste in cheap jewelry, I suggest you refrain from judging others.