Going Bigger and Taking It Home

I was thinking of calling today’s column The State of the Island Address but my daughter Lindsay (AKA “The Jeweler’s Daughter”) said otherwise. Being the kind of person who almost always agrees and does what I’m told, and being the father who should always respect their children…I ignored her anyway. 

In case you haven’t noticed the 2025 season is in full swing on the island. Besides needing a shoehorn to enter your favorite restaurant or watering hole it really helps to know the owners. I passed by Stan’s cruising along on my Fat Boy last Sunday and there wasn’t a parking spot for even a motorcycle. The swarm of revelers was packed in like sardines. No thanks! That’s not for me so I headed east down 41 to get some wind in my gray hair and most of all…solitude. 

The streets and sidewalks on the island are once again swarming with slow and speed walkers, slow and speed runners, bikers, two and three-wheelers with and without a baby trailer in tow, baby and dog strollers, electric bikes of all shapes and sizes, mopeds, golf carts, four wheeling hunting vehicles, skateboards, scooters, both human and electric powered and some kind of one-wheeled “I have a death wish” contraption …Thank heaven it does not snow here I would have to add cross country skiers and snowmobiles to the eclectic mix!

Honestly, folks, it’s no joke trying to get from point A to point B on the island without having a “hit the brakes moment” even while observing all the rules of the road and driving the speed limit. I had a recent conversation with one of Marco’s finest in blue and questioned him about whether these, let me call them… “Alternative Vehicles” have to abide by the same driving rules of the road we normal drivers have to adhere to. He informed me with a resounding YESthey do! So, these alternative modes of transportation are supposed to observe the rules of the road. Well sir, I can tell you from my experience …They don’t!

My shop is close to Beall’s Outlet and faces the Island Plaza parking lot. On any given day in season it can resemble a Coney Island bumping car concession. I understand the small Publix parking lot is no better. Most folks just don’t pay attention; personally, from what I see out my window, they just don’t care. I have watched them jump in the car, put it in reverse, and not even look at what’s behind them and nearly take out pedestrians, other cars, and/or these alternative vehicles. I was so horrified one day that I had to engage an entire family nonchalantly cruising through the parking lot on bicycles with the youngest on training wheels. She would have been impossible to see by these inconsiderate ones backing out! Needless to say that Mom and Dad were not the brightest crayons in the box, endangering their children that way. 

I leave the shop on most days after dark; on an average night it takes me five minutes to get home, but not before I have to dodge those confounded, nearly invisible all-black electric bikes. Besides totally ignoring red lights, stop signs, crosswalks, and any semblance of road rules while they dart and swoop around from sidewalks to the road like bats in the night. What the heck are these things? Are they licensed or regulated in any way? To make it worse, the riders are all dressed in black or dark clothing. I’ll call them “The Marco Night Stealth Riders.” Officer Friendly also informed me they pick them off the streets and sidewalks and place them on ambulance gurneys on a regular basis, so it’s safe to say that the members of that particular night riding club are canceling their membership the hard way on a nightly basis. Anyone who lives here on the island knows the act of riding a bicycle in the dark after happy hour has a good to most likely chance of winding up in intensive care. I’ve been run off the road avoiding a collision numerous times in daylight and at night on my Harley despite my headlights and fog lights glaring!

Way too many close calls riding lately! Maybe I’ll get a Sherman Tank instead? That being said… My 2019 Harley-Davidson Fat Boy w/115 engine and low mileage, always garaged and in mint condition is for sale. Call 239-394-9275 if you are interested for more details.

Being mindful is a two-way street; keep your head on a swivel, especially while backing up. These alternative vehicles are everywhere, day and night, and for the thrill seekers who think I’m overreacting, trust me - if you disobey road rules and zip around willy-nilly, sooner or later reality will occur when your “vehicle” collides with a two-ton pickup truck ( hopefully not mine!) and the truck driver tells the authorities “I never saw him!” Don’t be that prone unfortunate person,

My daughter wants you to know that she disagrees with this subject matter and wants to bring it back to jewelry. Lots of happy customers this last week walked out the door wearing their new treasure. It’s been fun helping all of you find a little piece of paradise in our store. The increased traffic is difficult, but we appreciate the business and are working hard to offer quality and personal service. Snowbirds, part-timers, tourists, and locals are all equally welcome in our store, and we love seeing all the new faces. People love Marco Island; it’s a very special place and our store has become a must-visit for many over the years. We are always looking for fun and interesting pieces to share with you all. Thank you again.