SPAM for Kids

GOODLAND LIFE
Natalie Strom 
natalie@coastalbreezenews.com

This the fourth article I have written about Spammy Jammy – the Little Bar’s annual tradition of keeping hurricanes at bay. Every year, I manage to come up with a new spin on how to tell the story. This year, I will tell it to you as if you were a five-year old. Bear in mind, I don’t have any children, so I really don’t know how to talk to a five-year old, but here we go.

Hi there boys and girls! Today we are going to talk about some “adult things.” Has anyone ever heard of Spammy Jammy? Say it with me, “Spam-eee Jam-eee.” Can anyone tell me a little bit about what this special day means? No? No one? Not even you sitting all the way in the back? Ok, then we’ll just have to start from the beginning.

A long, long time ago, there were gods and goddesses that ruled over the world. If we were good and treated them with respect, just like we do

our elders, then they would keep us safe from tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, fires and even hurricanes. But if we were bad and we didn’t do things to make the gods happy – like the time you put bubble gum in your sister’s hair – they would punish us. Volcanoes would erupt, tornadoes would tear through towns and hurricanes would hit areas just like where we live.

Over time, many of the traditions that pleased these gods (like spanking you with a wooden spoon when you were naughty) were forgotten about, and we can see how they pay back the areas that have forgotten about them. But the Little Bar Restaurant in Goodland has not forgotten about the gods and goddesses that rule over hurricanes here in Southwest Florida. They celebrate the gods by throwing a party. That’s right kids, a party. I’m sure when you have a party to celebrate your birthday it puts you in a good mood – the same way Spammy Jammy puts the gods and goddesses

in a good mood during hurricane season.

Now, let’s say your birthday party was a sleepover. Everyone would wear their pajamas right? Well, that’s the Jammy part of Spammy Jammy. And when you have that birthday party, what do you get? That’s right! Presents! The gods are pleased when they receive presents too. That’s the Spammy part.

Hopefully, since you are so young, you have yet to experience a hurricane. But one day you’ll probably experience one and find yourself stuck inside with no power in the middle of the night, in your pajamas, with nothing to eat but Spam. It’s just the way it goes.

Have you ever tried Spam? Now don’t just say, “Eeeeew” right away. There’s more than one way to cook up Spam, and this is how we make the gods happy; we bring them Spam in all kinds of food, art and architecture, and they love it!

On June 29th this year, everyone will arrive at the Little Bar in their pajamas with their food, art or architecture

concoctions made of Spam. They will dance to the sounds of Pete Merrigan and TC Carr starting at 6 PM, and the Raiford Starke Band at 9 PM, and party just like you do with your friends to the sounds of Sesame Street. But this party is for adults only. The gods and goddesses know the adults will one day hand down the tradition to you once your taste buds have matured, and then it will be your turn to eat that so-called yucky Spam in your pajamas to keep away the hurricanes.

What about Tropical Storm Andrea, you ask? Let me start by reminding everyone that there are no stupid questions (unless it’s this one). First of all, Andrea was a Tropical Storm, not a hurricane. She also came by before Spammy Jammy took place. So, the only logical answer is that one of you did something bad. Very bad. Now who was it?!?!?!

For more information about Spammy Jammy, contact the Little Bar at 239-394-5663. The Little Bar is located in Goodland at 205 Harbor Drive.