Last year traveling with our closest friends in Europe for three weeks, we shared many stories while in the car with each other. I remember specifically telling a story from many years ago about a family that stood out to me as rather pleasant.
There was an individual in the car that recalled the circumstances surrounding that nice moment for me, and shared his “truth” about his version of it. It was composed of a bit more darkness than I had remembered. My mind did a little scramble of sorts, and my heart seemed to get a bit heavy with my exhale immediately after he spoke.
Interesting to think that no two stories ever appear the same to the two people that witness (or hear about) the same event.
A sweet memory comes to mind and is spoken about to a friend, sealing its tenderness in the heart. The stories told surrounding that memory may not be so sweet in their totality but somehow still bring about a positive feeling. When that aspect is highlighted and spoken by another person, it diminishes that tenderness the loving heart searches for. Once a dialogue like this occurs, it is harder to recall that feeling that was initially felt. It requires some “inner work.”
Take any memory and bathe it in a positive light or surround it in the darkness of a bigger picture, and perhaps, the feeling changes to varying degrees. Any event that becomes your future memory will never be 100 percent as true as when it is experienced. When a small positive (or negative) thought creeps into that memory years later, we can tap inside and ask that small sweet voice in our heart to speak purposefully and look for the lightness even!
Keeping it in lightness, which requires love and forgiveness, is the difficult part. It can be quite a battle between heart and mind.
The heart, at our birth, is made to love. Its pure form is kindness, connection and compassion. Life has the uncanny ability to distort that peace. The hard part is to remake the old tapes and listen to the “voice over” or the new tape.
I am not advocating lying to oneself about something that happened. Just perhaps thinking and taking the time to ponder the why, how and what if’s of life’s events. Perhaps then we can shelf the memory in a softer or just a more neutral place.
We are all human after all. This is where forgiveness finds its purpose. We may need to even completely splice out a section of that tape we play. We may need to talk to others as well, and think about it again and again. We can try to find that heart we were born with and put it to the task.
Dianne Saywell works full time as a dental hygienist at a local dental office educating and helping patients maintain their oral health. She also spends her time introducing people to and sharing the healing power of YOGA and the health it brings to the body, mind and spirit. She offers group classes and private sessions at all levels, contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.