Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Off Balance

Ask the Life Coach


 

Dear Coach,

I realize that everyone’s life went off the rails this last year. However, now that our world is beginning to look more normal, I’m still feeling out of balance. I have mild depression, feel anxious at times, and I’m generally unhappy. I think my life needs a realignment. Any suggestions?

Signed,

Out of Whack

 


 

Dear Out of Whack,

You’re so right! Practically everyone in the world felt off balance in one way or another this last year. For those who adjusted, it took a while. And now, here we are having to adjust again. Exhausting, right? 

Diane Barth, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and author of I Know How You Feel, gives us a reminder about balance. “It’s important to accept that we will keep falling out of balance and will have to keep re-finding our equilibrium. But that’s good. That’s living.”

If your goal is to live a perfectly balanced life, you’ll be disappointed. Although balance gives us a sense of stability and security, it’s something we have to constantly redefine and refine. 

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., a senior fellow of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center explains. “We’re very dynamic. We’re never on exactly the right course; we’re adapting.” He compares the process to riding a bike. You shift your weight as you turn a corner, or you make adjustments to avoid an obstacle. 

Even when our lives don’t change, sometimes our perspective does. Staying mostly at home for a year changed my perspective while it was changing my life. Even though I’m vaccinated and can safely attend in-person meetings, I frequently prefer to Zoom-in or not attend at all. I am, however, enjoying in-person social functions once again. I’m realigning and readjusting my life so my deeper emotional needs can be filled. 

Coaching questions: What is your clue that your life is listing to one side or the other? What helps you regain your equilibrium? 

 


 

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