First, a big old high-paw to those of you who read and responded to my first Dog & Style column in the last issue of Coastal Breeze. With your questions, requests for interviews, and social invitations now pouring in, I’m starting to feel like the Prince William of Marco Island. Plus, I simply refuse to be compared to a squatty little Corgi!
Even this week’s professional photo shoot with Marco’s own Peter Berec has been described as “unforgettable.” However, through his dogged determination, Mr. Peter finally managed to get the shot he wanted and I got a belly full of treats—so both of our needs were met.
I have sifted through your feedback and chosen a few of your questions for “pup-lication.”
Don’t groan. If you’re so desperate you have chosen to write to a dog for advice, you’re going to have to suffer through dog-speak too.
As I said before, one can only be a “know it all” if, in fact, one knows it all. Lucky for you, I do. Let’s get started.
I’m desperately in need of your help. How can I convince my dog, Tank, that you don’t actually attract a “lady” by behaving like a “tramp”? He takes everything so literally…
Babs W. – Naples, FL
Dear Miss Babs:
The Chihuahua in my house (aka “The Chihua”) does the same thing. To be honest, so do I. As Lady Gaga would say, we were “born this way.”
You must realizethat humans and dogs are not the same species. That being said, I have seen countless human males roll over on their backs in desperate hopes of receiving some sort of immediate attention. As many of these men end up on either The Real Housewives or Judge Judy, often with a female at their side, evidence exists that this type of behavior can actually produce modest results.
Keep in mind, we dogs also love to do the “butt sniff” thing and, of course, we clean our own private areas. By comparison, Tank’s rollover “come hither” pose should be considered somewhat benign.
My advice: don’t knock it until you’ve tried it—or have you???
You seem like a very “social” dog. Are you on Facebook or Twitter?
Melissa F. – Marco Island, FL
Dear Miss Melissa:
Why yes, I am on The Facebook. You can friend me at facebook.com/tony.wakefieldjones. I used to be on The Twitter, but my Tall Daddy and Short Daddy kept confusing “tweet” with “treat” to the point where they tried to feed me individual letters from the keyboard one day so I gave it up.
Can Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s marriage be saved?
Kim H. – Naples, FL
Dear Miss Kim:
Tony Wakefield-Jones is a 10-year-old emotionally gifted Airedale. A member of a family of creative minds, his Short Daddy, writer Randall Kenneth Jones, has humorously chronicled his own personal and professional foibles on www.attackbunnies.com. Tony enjoys writing, eating, sleeping, pina coladas and being caught in the rain. Send your questions to Tony@mindzoo.com