Sunday , September 21 2014
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Carol’s Humor

Sleep Is A Beautiful Thing!

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By Carol Glassman The commercials tell us that “sleep is a beautiful thing”, and I quite agree, especially if you have a good mattress and sweet dreams. A lot of people I know choose the time just before drifting off to sleep to “speak” to their dearly departed or to have a few words with some higher power in which they believe. Since the last thing we do before we enter dreamland often influences our dreams, we might be feeding and stirring our subconscious. Sometimes when we dream of those we have lost, it’s an uncanny feeling when we awake ... Read More »

Looking for Mr. Right

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By Carol Glassman Even though I find it kind of pathetic to watch single people engage in a courtship dance — only because it’s a little sad that people think they need another person to validate his or her life in this world — I understand why they continue to seek partners at any age: they are simply lonely. In the past, it amused me to think of the situations that arose when well-meaning “friends” tried to spoil my evening at home with a good book by introducing me to some poor fellow who might have spent his time better ... Read More »

And the Doughnuts Go Rolling Along

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By Carol Glassman I am so distraught! While checking on my AARP account this week, I learned from the young-sounding woman on the phone about all the wonderful deals and offers, most of which I had missed. Are you like me, weighed down by a two-inch stack of frequent buyer and discount cards for various stores and organizations? When I check into a motel, it’s all I can do to remember my name and license number and ask for a smoke-free room — how can I remember to ask for AAA, Senior and AARP rates too? But here’s the real ... Read More »

w17¢ Goes a Long Way

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by Carol Glassman This is so pathetic it can only be true. A few weeks ago an elderly friend from out-of-state entertained me with a surrealistic tale of horror involving a co-op utility company to which she is attached — not having a choice. She was widowed eight years ago, but had always looked after family finances and paying the bills, quite proud of being able to handle the simple transactions online. A month ago, she received a taped phone call from the utility company telling her the bill was overdue and if not paid within one day, her service ... Read More »

What OTC Medication Treats ‘Social Allergens’?

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By Carol Glassman There’s a label for everything these days, and where we used to call things what they were, we have become so obsessed with being PC (politically correct) we now have totally absurd ways of discussing things that bother us and confusing them with simple rudeness. In a newspaper article recently, the author wrote that while her home was being renovated, she was temporarily living with her parents, and she had broken out in hives from the experience. Poor baby! It seems her father had the distressing habit of clearing his throat repeatedly, while her mother kept interrupting ... Read More »

Living Out-of-Pocket — Yours!

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I heard the daughter of a close friend was getting married, and knowing her taste and some of her likes and dislikes, I began to plan ahead for an appropriate and appreciated gift. After listening to her preferences and lack of enthusiasm for cleaning sterling silver, I collected beautiful pieces of contemporary and vintage pewter for her — things like candlesticks, mugs and serving platters that were useful and attractive. As the wedding date drew closer and my large carton of pewter pieces filled, I was both surprised and disturbed when I heard that the couple had registered themselves online ... Read More »

Bear With Me

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By Carol Glassman Bears are such cuddly creatures, aren’t they? All the bears I have met are cute and cuddly. My first meeting with a bear I called “Honey” occurred when I was 7 years old, and enjoying being the youngest child in the family until Mom brought home our baby brother. With my position as family baby quickly usurped, I could have been damaged for life had she not had the wisdom to bring me Honey at the same time. Did I mention that Honey was quite stuffed? That year, the largest department store, which also sponsored the annual ... Read More »

How Gullible Are We?

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By Carol Glassman I know, I know, none of us likes to see ourselves in those terms. After all, gullibility suggests not only that someone or perhaps some group of people out there is a lot smarter or wilier than we are but also that they are quite likely to take advantage of us, publicize it and make us look quite foolish. Well, I suppose that could happen, but take heart. I happen to know that tests have been done — yes, actual scientific tests — that show gullibility is not our fault. For example, did you know that people ... Read More »

I Can See Clearly Now

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My confession: I am a surgery wimp. It would require an absolutely essential, life-threatening situation, not in the realm of “cosmetic,” before I would lie down and allow some white-coated, individual with a degree to use a knife to remove, repair, or adjust my body parts. I’m not sure which is more frightening – being unconscious or being unconscious while someone works on my body. I’m not that much of a control freak that I need to watch and give instructions, but a little knowledge is a very dangerous thing, and one cannot help but observe and worry about some ... Read More »

The Friendly Skies Bite Back

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By Carol Glassman The next time you decide to fly the friendly skies, I suggest you trust no one. You know how it is when you elect travel by charter and your air route and seat selection are completely out of your hands. In order to go from point A to point B the tour company will toss all kinds of travel gobbledegook at you to justify the shortest line between two points as the crow flies (a drunken crow, it seems) and take you to A-1, A-2. and A-3 before arriving at B, and often flying you to the ... Read More »

Are You Ready to Take a Stand?

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By Carol Glassman I don’t watch a lot of TV, but when I tuned in the other day I became convinced that those of you who do have done the rest of us a terrible disservice. It’s about those commercials. After all, someone must have given those advertising agencies a very skewed idea about the rest of us. Just look at some of those things they expect us to believe! We are all familiar with the impossible cartoon characters coming to life and acting as salesmen, but how about those talking geckos, pigs, dogs and cats, especially the one with ... Read More »

May I have a word with you?

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By Carol Glassman I have a problem with love. Not being loved or giving love, but with the word being overused insincerely a great deal of the time. It bothers me when an acquaintance or even a good friend ends a phone call with “Love ya.” I want to stop them dead in their tracks and question, “Why?” Don’t take that the wrong way. I am sure there are specific people who find me likable and even lovable, but I just don’t think a run-of-the-mill call to someone to give them an inconsequential piece of information demands such an effusive ... Read More »

Pack Rat or Hoarder?

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By Carol Glassman Many people like to accumulate things, and at a certain age, find they have amassed what looks more like a jumble than an organized collection. For some, it represents the inability to throw things away, fearing these items may be of use one day; while for others, it’s the inability to say “no” when someone drops off yet another homeless cat on the doorstep. At any rate, hoarding exists and seems to be more prevalent, or perhaps just more noticeable, than it used to be. The media — television in particular — finds it interesting enough to ... Read More »

How Do You Play the Game?

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By Carol Glassman Have you fully recovered from Olympic fever yet? Even from a distance it’s hard not to get caught up in the fervor and fever of the Olympic Games, getting a camera’s view of a country we may never visit and having an opportunity to witness people striving to be No. 1 after years of training, deprivation of a ‘normal’ life and hard work. A little of that competitive nature must be spreading, judging by the way people handle that four-wheeled lethal weapon commonly known as the automobile. Give people steering wheels and horns, and they become creatures ... Read More »

Help! I’m submerged in e-mail!

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By Carol Glassman Every morning, I am reluctant to admit, if I don’t have an early appointment I rise, and instead of shining, head for the computer. One excuse is that perhaps someone has sent me a message to inform me of a meeting, an event, a cancellation or just to update me on family matters. Possibly a client or two needs some writing or editing. Of course I simply need to scan the news from two or three newspapers. Well, that doesn’t account for the many pieces of e-mail that land on my desktop and clog my i-Phone daily. ... Read More »

No Pain, No Wrinkles, Lose Weight Rapidly and Eternal Youth

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By Carol Glassman Are you over-medicated? What does that mean — how can anyone say a thing like that after a headline promising an almost ideal life, free of superficial and ongoing medical problems! We all have minor, and some major, aches and pains. Who among us doesn’t have a wrinkle or two? Wouldn’t you like to lose a couple of those Thanksgiving pounds that you gained, especially after adding Christmas and New Year’s eating? How about that grey hair, if indeed it is thick enough to worry about — would you like more/some — better than none? Are you ... Read More »

I Love New York

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By Carol Glassman There was a time when if anyone reminded me that a trip to New York in January was imminent, I would have questioned his or her sanity: “Are you crazy? You’d leave Florida in January to risk freezing?” I have had a lifelong love affair with that city and all that it offers, but the idea of visiting it mid-winter is more than I would want to consider. Last year, I was invited to attend a fabulous international conference of women educators in New York — the last week of January. In the throes of planning and ... Read More »

Is the Milk of Human Kindness Curdling?

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By Carol Glassman You don’t even have to check the calendar to find out what time of year it is. Simply walk or drive down the side streets, and see all the dog-walkers allowing their darling pets to fertilize everyone’s trees and gardens. Many of them walk either very early or after sunset, possibly trying to avoid being seen. Whatever happened to “stoop and scoop”? Just because it isn’t written into a city ordinance is no reason not to practice this kind of hygiene. It doesn’t take much energy, and it’s so much more thoughtful to walk with a plastic ... Read More »

Which season ‘tis it?

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By Carol Glassman Children ask, “Are we there yet?,” while folks of a certain age are more likely to groan, “Are we there already?” This can refer to either time or place. All right, in an effort to carpe the diem, stop and smell the roses and/or cappuccino, savor the intoxicating scent of cinnamon that reminds us of mom’s apple pie, inhale the fragrance of pine cones or the pungent aroma of frying potato latkes and roasting turkey, we’ll do almost anything possible to bring back the good memories and reminisce about holidays, and maybe even put the brakes on ... Read More »